you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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