Im at strip club and am horny
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
