This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
