Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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