just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
