i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
