I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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