Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
