She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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