Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
