Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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