Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
