This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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