woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
