Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize