i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
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Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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