Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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