I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
