it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
