You're so nebulous sometimes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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