Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
