my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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