I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
