1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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