You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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