I'm really into asian looking animals
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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