your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
