i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
