problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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