i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
