and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize