Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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