That reminds me...we need to get swords
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
