Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
