I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize