And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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