Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
