tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
