i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
