I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
