Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
