I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
