Nicole vs. Life
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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