In the future we'll all be gay
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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