she woke up with a sticky ear
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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