3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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