somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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