I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize