I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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