Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
