Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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