and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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