I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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