the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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