So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
