i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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