My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
