make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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