and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
