how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
