Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
