Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?

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  (952): What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there? http://tfl.nu/nak2
  Replies (34) Good night (1300) Bad night (1943)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.

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  (501): thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control. http://tfl.nu/7f4i
  Replies (70) Good night (1136) Bad night (2858)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where does the pee come out of this thing

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  (920): where does the pee come out of this thing http://tfl.nu/pebd
  Replies (13) Good night (785) Bad night (4663)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The best revenge is premature balding

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  (603): The best revenge is premature balding http://tfl.nu/ugsl
  Replies (15) Good night (3922) Bad night (983)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.

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  (714): I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky. http://tfl.nu/5xyb
  Replies (31) Good night (15095) Bad night (1895)
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  (510): View more from California

  Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.

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  (510): Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/2xfe
  Replies (34) Good night (1862) Bad night (9984)
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  (323): View more from California

  Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.

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  (323): Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy. http://tfl.nu/58l0
  Replies (6) Good night (3591) Bad night (847)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me

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  (651): I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me http://tfl.nu/y5sm
  Replies (7) Good night (1298) Bad night (1612)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.

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  (732): This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms. http://tfl.nu/i073
  Replies (3) Good night (1617) Bad night (814)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

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  (423): Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/4jzk
  Replies (6) Good night (1747) Bad night (504)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.

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  (215): she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/hoyt
  Replies (8) Good night (966) Bad night (730)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...

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  (267): she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling... http://tfl.nu/2dyo
  Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (409)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?

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  (815): is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal? http://tfl.nu/lpf5
  Replies (14) Good night (752) Bad night (494)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.

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  (775): I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box. http://tfl.nu/0vry
  Replies (2) Good night (313) Bad night (554)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.

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  (904): Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever. http://tfl.nu/o5og
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (301)

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