Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.

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(720): I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn. http://tfl.nu/6oei

Replies (8) Good night (2595) Bad night (601)
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(440): View more from Ohio

yea ive hooked up with like half those guys

(1-440): View more from Ohio

and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag

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(440): yea ive hooked up with like half those guys (1-440): and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag http://tfl.nu/9hzs

Replies (32) Good night (6671) Bad night (845)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks

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(413): At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks http://tfl.nu/fbkp

Replies (15) Good night (814) Bad night (2689)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

so yall hooked up?

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(203): I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone. (1-203): so yall hooked up? http://tfl.nu/j54f

Replies (19) Good night (5440) Bad night (1361)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.

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(816): I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there? (1-816): Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket. http://tfl.nu/46j7

Replies (9) Good night (3225) Bad night (905)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?

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(732): I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'? http://tfl.nu/6mt1

Replies (2) Good night (2617) Bad night (945)
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(714): View more from California

Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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(714): Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty" http://tfl.nu/39ju

Replies (7) Good night (1309) Bad night (1962)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.

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(215): I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood. http://tfl.nu/t851

Replies (3) Good night (1795) Bad night (504)
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(813): View more from Florida

I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips

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(813): I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips http://tfl.nu/x2sl

Replies (25) Good night (681) Bad night (1285)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.

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(503): Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands. http://tfl.nu/rsji

Replies (12) Good night (2463) Bad night (574)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.

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(503): Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck. http://tfl.nu/hc6u

Replies (10) Good night (1170) Bad night (454)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.

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(860): you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something. http://tfl.nu/oy26

Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (250)
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(209): View more from California

Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol

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(209): Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol http://tfl.nu/3jn5

Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (210)
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(847): View more from Illinois

We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.

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(847): We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful. http://tfl.nu/8snr

Replies (5) Good night (733) Bad night (187)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....

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(505): I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from.... http://tfl.nu/owld

Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (110)

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