just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
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The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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