i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.