what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
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Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
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The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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