woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
What drink are we having for lunch?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My vagina is very pro this idea