Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.

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  (321): I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud. http://tfl.nu/bqn8
  Replies (60) Good night (2271) Bad night (1194)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride

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  (540): she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride http://tfl.nu/utbu
  Replies (47) Good night (1198) Bad night (7738)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.

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  (703): just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december. http://tfl.nu/2oxo
  Replies (46) Good night (2316) Bad night (6131)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"

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  (727): I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying" http://tfl.nu/wtiy
  Replies (19) Good night (10985) Bad night (1514)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

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  (503): And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms http://tfl.nu/1av4
  Replies (7) Good night (2502) Bad night (896)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  $5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.

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  (512): $5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am. http://tfl.nu/bt4r
  Replies (10) Good night (1886) Bad night (2839)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves

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  (815): my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves http://tfl.nu/kwdc
  Replies (28) Good night (5327) Bad night (1148)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now

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  (662): I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now http://tfl.nu/5831
  Replies (7) Good night (766) Bad night (1187)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?

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  (603): Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message? http://tfl.nu/3a2d
  Replies (3) Good night (1408) Bad night (573)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.

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  (816): If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide. http://tfl.nu/28e3
  Replies (8) Good night (574) Bad night (951)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year

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  (414): Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year http://tfl.nu/dko3
  Replies (3) Good night (1094) Bad night (586)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants

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  (585): He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants http://tfl.nu/sshj
  Replies (7) Good night (742) Bad night (523)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry

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  (610): Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry http://tfl.nu/g7mi
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (456)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom

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  (604): Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom http://tfl.nu/2vz6
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (637)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf

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  (781): Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf http://tfl.nu/hqdc
  Replies (2) Good night (1028) Bad night (393)

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