Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
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Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
my shit smells like andre
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
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HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records