i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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