Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
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