I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I believe in your delicious
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
