No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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